An Easier Method
by ArtStar
Summary: They did it three times! Three! Why was it so hard to get it right? Placing the blame on Naruto is just so easy, but it certainly didn’t solve anything. A very Crackidy fic.


Warning: Some sexual innuendos.

**An Easier Method**

**  
**

Jiraiya scratched his chin roughly.

Who knew the kid had it in him?

He stared before smirking at the mess the pair left behind. As he paced closer to the scene, he stopped and whistled loudly.

From what he can tell, _it_ was all over the place.

The most obvious was on the kitchen table but even the floors and the walls were covered!

Teeth bared as creases slowly formed on the side of his mouth. Naruto had been a busy boy.

Oh and the smell! He sniffed. My, oh my, it smelled terrible.

Jiraiya's sandals clunked against the wooden floor as he strolled into the living room. There he found two tired forms slumped against one another.

He silently walked closer until he crouched down and met with Naruto's drooling face. Jiraya raised his right hand in the air and without any warning, he flicked his finger unsympathetically against the blonde's forehead.

A quick yelp escaped from Naruto's throat.

Angry blue eyes glared at the intruder as his hands held onto his new wound.

"Ero-sennin! What the hell was that for?!"

A dark and dangerous smile lit up the said man. "Social call."

"What? Ya stupid old man, that's a lame excuse!"

The loud bickering was well, quite loud.

Inevitably a pair of drowsy eyes slowly opened.

A yawn escaped from her tiny mouth as she took into her surroundings.

Naruto and Jiraiya stopped to stare at her when she mumbled incoherently.

"Too loud."

Before either of the two saw it coming, Sakura's fists snuck up on their bare chins.

Pleased at the result of the two twitching figures, she stood up and smoothed down her rumpled clothes.

With a quick crack around her back, neck and fingers Sakura called out to Naruto.

"We have to get ready…" she covered her mouth as she let out another yawn "he's probably sulking, thinking we forgot."

Sakura walked into the kitchen and ignore the mess.

She grimaced at the smell. "Damnit," she whined.

With an exasperated sigh, she called out to her rowdy companion again. "Naruto!"

Like any good little boy, he stood up and walked towards her although the slight swaying had not gone unnoticed.

Sakura frowned. She hadn't hit him that hard.

She looked at the sad lump currently passed out in Naruto's living room.

Her frowned deepen. She honestly hadn't hit them that hard right?

Her fingers reached up and rubbed her temple. A quick thought processed through her brain.

Left fist equaled Naruto. Right fist equaled Jiraiya.

Ah. There you go. She nodded at the revelation. She was right handed.

Sakura sighed. Oh well.

She took a quick glance at the clock and noticed they had an hour and twenty three minutes left.

"Naruto cleaned up the mess." With a nod, clones multiplied right before her.

Sakura bravely set her eyes at the oven.

Her feet paced forward. "Please, for the love of god…" Don't look like a lump of coal, she prayed.

Her hands rested on the handle as she anticipated at the result. Her whole body froze.

Smoke escaped and unfortunately she was greatly disappointed when a burnt cake greeted her.

Sakura's body shook and her arms trembled angrily. With a small gleam in her eye, she reached inside and grabbed the tray containing the cake.

Sakura huffed and flung the two pieces rather harshly behind her.

Little did she know, Jiraiya had just regain consciousness. He rubbed his groggily eyes in time to see the cake and tray smash against his face. Unfortunately for him, the force of items knocked him out again.

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan! Your aim is amazing!!" Sakura turned in time to see Naruto grinning ear to ear, giving her the thumbs up.

She looked at him seriously. "This is no laughing matter. That was our third attempt! Third!"

She poked at his chest. "This was supposed to be "the one!" If you hadn't slipped and fallen on the first one, or accidently tripped and threw it against the wall, we would have been done already!"

She poked him harder. "And you…you didn't wake me up in fifteen minutes!"

Naruto rubbed his head sheepishly. "I was just resting my eyes…"

Sakura's arms slung around his neck; her head hung as she let out heavy sigh.

"Alright," She lifted her neck slightly "We'll just pretend this never happened ok? Just forget all the trouble we went through."

Naruto stared through her pink locks curiously and found a pair of eyes watching him.

"Forget?" He asked.

She nodded determinedly.

Sakura straighten her body and unhooked her arms.

"All we can do now is to replace the damn cake."

"How? We won't have enough time…"

"Use your head Naruto. We're going to just buy one."

"Oh. Why didn't we just do that before?"

"Because," She stressed "It's more meaningful to make one."

"Anyways…" Sakura walks to his door. "We should leave before he—" She opened the door and jabbed her thumb towards Jiraiya. "—wakes up." Without wasting any more time, she left.

"Wha—Sakura-chan, wait!" The blonde boy slammed his door and chased after his teammate.

Meanwhile a small groan echoed in the empty house…

* * *

A grumpy form was stirred from his quiet meditation. A series of knocks continued to multiple. What was that? Ah yes, that was the sound of annoyance of course. 

The dark hair teen grimace as he headed towards his door.

No wait. His hand stopped at his door handle.

"It would be wise to ignore them." He whispered underneath his breath.

Stepping back, Sasuke turned.

"Oi Bastard! We know you're in there. We can sense your chakra idiot!"

"Naruto hold this." A muffled voice commanded.

"Sasuke-kun, if you don't open your door right now, I'm going to break it down with my fist!"

Sasuke eyed his door wearily.

"Fine." He grumbled loudly.

Two smiling faces greeted him as his door creaked opened.

"What." His flat voice commanded.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" The two voices chorused.

Sakura snatched the box Naruto had been holding and shove it to his chest.

Her smile widen as she pushed it a little harder. "Here," she said, "We sacrifice our whole day to make this."

Confused, Naruto turned his head and tilted in question. In return, Sakura lightly jab her elbow into his side.

"Ow—Yeah bastard! It took us a really long time to bake it!"

"Hn." Despite his lack of response, he was actually quite pleased.

Instead of waiting to be invited in, Naruto and Sakura pushed Sasuke into his kitchen.

Smiling, Sakura grabbed a knife and three forks and plates while Naruto shoved their reluctant teammate on a chair.

"Alright! Let's eat!" She said cheerily.

The smile was wiped off her face when Naruto opened the box and the cake came into view.

_**Happy**__** 8**__**th**__** Birthday**_

Sasuke blinked. "I'm eighteen this year."

Sakura froze, but Naruto didn't.

Instead, he groaned loudly. "Oi Sakura-chan, that obaa-san made a mista—!" His voice was muffled when Sakura forced her hands in cover his mouth.

She was a tad too late though.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the little piece of news.

Humph.

Sakura and Naruto stared unmovingly when Sasuke grabbed a fork and dug into the cake.

His lips slid off the metal utensil. "It's good."

Sakura released her hold on Naruto and clasped her hands together.

"G-good" She said shakily.

It was at this moment of awkwardness did a piece of unidentified item fly right through his open door and crash into his porcelain vase.

Three heads tilted sideways. As they peered through the hallway, their eyes rested upon a figure of a red face man.

Without saying anything, the man stomped off and left Sasuke in puzzlement.

Sasuke left his chair and walked over to the crime scene.

He clucked his tongue and picked up what was seemed to be…a cake?

He stared at his teammates in silence.

Sakura had her hand against her face while Naruto's arms were folded.

"Told you it took us the whole day." Naruto grumbled.

Sasuke held the burnt item closer to his face and studied it.

"Ah."

* * *

**Omake: Naruto's Present  
**

"What the hell am I supposed to do with this?"

Naruto patted his best friend's back firmly.

"It's porn! You watch and then you know…What else are you supposed to do with it?"

* * *

**Omake: Sakura's Present  
**

Sakura smiled happily as she handed her gift to Sasuke.

"It took me three weeks to make!"

Sasuke raised his hands and place the grey sweater against his chest.

After a moment, he pointed out. "One sleeve is shorter than the other."

* * *

AN: I was bored and this came up. Boredom is scary. 


End file.
